Posse Revival: 25 To Life
Anybody so pathetic to be checking twitter at 3 AM last night would have witnessed a minor blogger infight stemming from Passionoftheweiss.com’s Top 50 Rap Albums of the ’00’s series. According to the very narrow circle of rap critics polled, MF Doom, Ghostface and a bunch of white people are responsible for a great majority of this decade’s significant rap albums. I contributed to the list out of hopes of counterbalancing that sort of result. I guess I failed. But I’m also experiencing some minor deja vu here. (I used to run blogs like Juan Pierre.)
Below is my commentary on a “25 Best Rap Albums of All Time” blog meme spearheaded a few years ago by the same POW think tank. My own 25 albums list has been removed because it is immaterial. In fact after initially posting the list to XXL, I revised it dramatically several times. Nobody noticed. This resulted in fruitflies arguing against different iterations and missing the point completely. Which is usually what happens with these sort of lists. Arguments. The most useless lists aim to start them, the least successful ones fail to provoke anything else. This post originally ran at the other site on 4/23/07. I’d also like to direct readers to Roger Ebert’s recent take on the task of critical listmaking.
Perhaps you’ve seen this meme going around the blogoverse. Someone on the internet thought it’d be a good idea to have everybody on the internet compile their 25 rap albums and then argue about it. Nobody called me for my input. But that never stopped me from voicing my opinion. 
Personally, I’ve been trying to write that definitive list since I was twelve years old. So I can pin it to my chest and let the world know that I like rap and these are the raps I like the most.  But all it gets me is a headache and a blistered rewind button finger. I love list happy rap dorkism as much as the next man but all time lists are just too much.
I mean every rap record is a lot of rap records. We’re talking tens if not hundreds of thousands, I think. I heard Freddy Fresh went insane, and is still mumbling something about Ced G in an upstate asylum to this very day. And he was just working with the first decade of recorded rap.
I don’t want to pen the list of nothing but Native Tongues, Wu-Tang, Dungeon Family & Juice Crew records rattling around in the back of my head. 
I definitely don’t have any interest in reinforcing the OMFGILLMATIC canon, I also would feel remiss in not mentioning that OMFG Illmatic is one of the best things I’ve ever heard.
I don’t want to scribe a Random Rap Nurse With Wound list either. The ebay market is already out of control as it is. And I know you know I can get obscure.
Does a poorly produced album with good raps make the grade? Sorry, Ras Kass.
Where do the dudes who drop dozens of classic singles, but never got their shit together for a full length fall?
Impact or interest?
I thought to break it down to the very last compound. Top 25 rap albums from the South. Top 25 rap albums from the West. Top 25 rap albums from Oakland. Top 25 rap albums from Queensbridge. Top 25 rap albums from Boise City. Top 25 rap albums with polka dots on the cover. Top 25 rap albums with coffins on the cover. Top 25 rap albums with polka dotted coffins on the cover. Nothing stuck.
It’s like choosing which child you love the most. Except I have hundreds of them (word to ODB and Screamin’ Jay Hawkins).
And I’m not going to do it…
Aww fuck it. As the fruit flies must bat their wings, the rap dorks must make their meaningless lists. It’s kept to one album per artist, as per the rules laid out by the Crawford Standard.
And yes… NOTHING BEFORE ‘84! NOTHING AFTER ‘02! NO PAC! NO G RAP! NO KWAME! NO 36 CHAMBERS! NO 400 DEGREEZ! NO PLEASE HAMMER DONT HURT ‘EM! PAID IN FULL AND NOT FOLLOW THE LEADER?! ATLIENS AND NOT SOUTHERNPLAYALISTIK?! VOL. 3 AND NOT THE DYNASTY?!
Because I hate hip hop, clearly.
I do this because I hate it.
Very little thought was put into this list, but much thought was put into how to think about this list. Then those thoughts were folded up into a paper airplane and thrown out the window at a high velocity. So please don’t take it too too seriously. I sure didn’t.
 All this metablogging’s making me itch. But big shouts to my coworkers Billy and Bolly, whom I usually butt heads with over rap minutiae, but who both put together fairly undeniable lists of rap classics, give or take a few minor missteps, IMHO.  Has anybody seen those all over print jackets with the classic album titles/logos on it? I wish I could find a link for it on the internet, because I suspect many of you won’t know what I’m talking about. Anyway, I want a custom one with Paper Chase and Piece Of Mind and Direct From The Backstreet. That will be the next list “Top 25 Album Titles I Want Printed on My Technicolor Dream Rap Jacket.”  A rap crew for every season – think about it.
 All this metablogging’s making me itch. But big shouts to my coworkers Billy and Bolly, whom I usually butt heads with over rap minutiae, but who both put together fairly undeniable lists of rap classics, give or take a few minor missteps, IMHO.
 Has anybody seen those all over print jackets with the classic album titles/logos on it? I wish I could find a link for it on the internet, because I suspect many of you won’t know what I’m talking about. Anyway, I want a custom one with Paper Chase and Piece Of Mind and Direct From The Backstreet. That will be the next list “Top 25 Album Titles I Want Printed on My Technicolor Dream Rap Jacket.”
 A rap crew for every season – think about it.